It’s been awhile since I’ve laid some original text on my tumbs, I thought since it’s summer I’d take the time out and voice out my emotions, my summer, me living at home, and so on and so forth. Either you’ll understand, or you won’t but what’s it to you?
My summer has been very hectic only because I’ve been commuting back and forth. Which sucks a lot because I do not get to see my friends as much as I used to just because when I am free, all I wanna do is go straight home and relax. Also this summer I’m currently taking summer school so it’s taking up most of my social life. I just keep telling myself that it’s only one more year and I’ll be done with school.. temporarily lol.
Enough of that, I kinda wanted to take this opportunity and vent..
Sooo I don’t know what it is that you feel that you can talk to me like that and feel that it’s ok but even though I’m not gonna say anything to you (because I’m a respectful person like that) I just wanted to let you know that me not getting loud, or saying anything back to you, is not weakness but more so I have the respect and the maturity to hold my tongue to not start anything. Cause if it were anyone else, I’d be all up in your face stating facts. … Just saying.
OH haha speaking of venting, also wanted to take the time and say that, you were never a good friend to me and I honestly do not see why I kept trying to be nice and rebuild what we “had”. I was like a dumb girlfriend that didn’t get the hint, and still insisted everything was gonna be alright, yeahhh what was I thinking? As far as what we had, I honestly think it was a facade; compared to my other friendships this honestly was the most unfortunate as well as being the least beneficial thing that’s occurred in my life. Almost a joke (not in a disrespectful way) as something to make fun of, but in all honesty it was something that we made pretending to make something out of nothing; and that’s not who I am. I’m a real person, and if I’m gonna let you in, I expect the same realness out of you. And what you and me had, was never real… and that’s what’s truly unfortunate. I hold a lot of resentment towards you not only because I felt that you should’ve engaged, made much more effort than you did, but also the fact that you never changed and that’s what growing up and being an adult is about. All the times you talked behind my back, yeah don’t think it was never unnoticed because it was, I was just too nice to ever let it resurface to the point where it would cause a lot of conflict. And I wasn’t about to waste my time and try to fix something that’s already broken. If you’re reading this, I guess that’s a good thing because I already laid everything on the table. And while you’re reading this I hope you understand my point of view, because all I wanted from you is the real you, I know it’s in there. But I guess “We” weren’t good enough for you to allow us in. I know that all people want out of each other is to know that they have that security, that care, that a friend can offer; but what’s unfortunate is that YOU got caught up with.. I’d say something else. While you’re reading this you probably know that I’m right. I guess, I wish the best of you and hope that you someday learn how to love and cherish a friend.
PHEW, since that’s off my chest. There’s the real bidness I must attend to.