And.. I don’t even care. LOL Something about turning 23 is old news to me. I feel no need to plan anything but I’m going to anyway. I feel no need to celebrate, but I’m going to anyway.
All I want is to be surrounded by my closest friends and catch up. I’ve honestly missed my few friends that I’d come and see when I’d visit back home in the suburbs. BUT now that I am back home in the suburbs permanently we’re all on different schedules. Of course that’s understandable given how old we are now and given the fact that we’re all trying to get shit down. I just miss the good old times where it took me 5 minutes to go to someone’s house to chill with all of my friends.
Now that this semester is coming to a close I’m one more semester away to freedom. But honestly is that something I should be relieved about. Yes, for probably a moment but once reality kicks in I’m again wishing I was at school again. That’s what I expect to feel once I’ve graduated. I’m honestly scared for what’s about to come, I’m scared that I won’t find a job, I won’t get into OT school, I won’t be able to pay off my loans, I won’t ever make a living. I know it’s just too soon to think about those things but when you get right to it, when is it really too early to be preparing for what’s ahead? I’m more of those better safe than sorry type of people, and I’d like to keep it that way.
On another note, I’m writing this only because I’m trying to procrastinate in a proactive way. I’m writing this rather than finishing the rest of my paper. Within the next two weeks I’m going to probably be the busiest I’ve ever been this whole semester. Well, that’s kinda a given, I shouldn’t of said that. Anyways, I’m just hoping and praying that I finish strong and hopefully get all A’s that I’ve been striving to get all semester.
Ok, there really isn’t anything else I could write now except for gibberish but I’m not about to do that. So I guess I’ll continue writing giberrish in my paper.
It so happens that this week is one of busiest weeks ever and conveniently I’m extremely sick as well. Shoot me?
I can’t afford to miss any classes because I have deadlines for each of them. Although I’m very sick this also makes me happy at the same time because I see myself only trying harder to push through this semester and me being sick is not going to get in my way of things :)
Dayquils and nyquils are going to be my best friend this week. LOL
Just popped two nyquils, I’m off to dreamland mothersuckers <3
No matter what the circumstances are I’m still going to end up smiling. Regardless how horrible the news is, I’m not gonna show that I’m going through something. That’s just how I’ve always been. To those that know me very well they know that I’m not the type to tell everyone my business and there are many reasons why I don’t do that.
My closest already know what I’m going through right now and that’s how it’s going to be. I’ve chosen a selected few to know the real me and that’s how I’d like to keep it. I really consider myself a really strong person considering all the stuff I’ve been through in my life and to not shed a single amount of emotion in public has possibly only allowed to put up this defense mechanism that I might not even be able to control. Sometimes I think I make too strong of a wall and I don’t know how to control that, but besides that I’ve been allowing myself to open up.
All I can think about is being strong for those who matter to me most and show them that I’m all the support they need. I know God has given me all these obstacles all at once knowing that I’m going to come out smiling in the end.