But then for the first time in my entire life I said to myself, “I think I’m better off alone.”
WOW. For real?
I guess I’m a mess because in the past, I only pretended to be ok with this. I tricked myself into agreeing with it, and forced myself to accept it. Which sometimes is just something u have to do. “Fake it ‘till u make it,” right? But just know that everyone’s wounds heal at a different rate so until one genuinely believes they are ok with being alone - no matter how many parties they attend or lunch dates they have scheduled, the loneliness will always be there.
And I ain’t sayin to go lock urself in ur room and make friends with the 4 walls of ur closet. I’m not sayin disable ur Facebook, delete ur MySpace, and change ur number. No need to drop off the face of the Earth, change jobs, move to a different city, and isolate urself from the world. All I’m sayin is learn to be alone and not lonely.
U don’t even have to like it. But once u achieve it, trust me u’ll find a positive side to it. And once u find a positive side to it, u’ll love it. Because that means the worst part is over and u will then be affirmed that the “alone” part was only meant to be temporary. Cliches are a bitch but “Without the sour, the sweet just ain’t as sweet baby.” If u cannot appreciate being alone, u will never fully be able to unselfishly let another person be a part of ur life and be a part of theirs.
So finally, nearly 10 years after my first real relationship, I have finally accepted the inevitable. Because asides from all that spiritual self-empowerment mumbo-jumbo, the truf isss u just can’t have someone be there for u all the fucking time! Even the most awesome of friends and family will let go of ur hand, and that’s exactly what makes them awesome. ‘Cuz they know that nobody can help u, unless u help urself. It’s almost God’s fucked up way of testing us. And Lord knows I’ve failed this one many, many, many times. I’m like a 27-year-old super senior in h.s. at this point. But like my girl Rach always says, “Progress not perfection.”
It’s ok to have a lonely moment every now and then. We’re only human. I slip ALL THE TIME. Honestly, I did right before I wrote this blog lol. ‘Cuz come on, who doesn’t want to have someone fill that empty side of the bed? Just know that being alone is only as lonely as u make it. And right now I’m taking up the entire bed laying in mufuckin starfish position at night, making angels in the snow while I sleep, and enjoying my space.
“learn to be alone and not lonely. ” That is the most important thing to learn. It’s good to be alone, just not lonely. I’ve learned that being alone allows you to get to know yourself on a different level than you could possibly learn when being with any other person. I’ve learned that you must love yourself, before allowing any one else in. I’ve learned that I’ve inherited this mentality that I’ve never thought I’d experience; although it may SEEM unfortunate to have this mindset but in actuality I think it’s a good thing to for once in your life think about yourself, and your wants, and your needs. Point blank.
But big ups to the girl that wrote that, she’s on point.
I don’t expect you to text me 24/7. I don’t expect you to call me everyday. I don’t expect you to put me in front of your boys. I don’t expect you to ditch all your girl best friends for me. I don’t expect you to surprise me with roses. I don’t expect you to buy me the world on my birthday. I don’t expect you to always agree with what I say. I don’t expect you to pay for everything. I don’t expect you to go out of your way and buy all the things that I mention I wanted. I don’t expect you to put me over your family. I don’t expect you to brag about me to all your friends. I don’t expect you to keep all your promises. I don’t expect you to believe I’m the best girlfriend in the whole world. I don’t expect you to stop checking out other girls. I don’t expect you to never mention a hot girl in front of me. I don’t expect you to already know what I want. I don’t expect you to never be mad at me. I just expect you to be trustworthy, to trust me, to never take me for granted like I won’t take you for granted, to always be real with me, to keep equality between us, and to love me. That’s all.
Bored Husband After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women; she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart..
Dear Mrs. Samsel, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
#1 June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
#2 July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-min ute intervals.
#3 July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
#4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, “Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.”
#5 August 4: 0D Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.
#6 August 14: Moved a “CAUTION - WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area.
#7 August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
#8 August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
#9 September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
#10 September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. #11 October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
#12 October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his “Madonna look” by using different sizes of funnels.
#13 October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!” #14 October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed “OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!”
And last, but not least.
#15 October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!”
I’m sick and tired of people judging and being so ignorant to things that they have no knowledge or insight in.
Labels in general whether it’s with sexual orientation, relationship status, or any other label that tries to define someone; all of those in my eyes are unnecessary. Who cares whether if you’re a lesbian, gay, bi-sexual; to me I feel what’s important is that there is someone in your life making you happy.
With relationships, to be frank I think that labels bring stress and problems to a relationship. I for one am guilty of being in a relationship andlabeling me and my significant other the title of “boyfriend and girlfriend” but I’ve learned a lot while being on my own. I’ve learned that a lot of problems surface when once a title is established. But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t put it into consideration. I know quite a handful of people that no longer use labels anymore, or titles, and seem happier. I for one might even consider this next time.
All I’m saying is that people shouldn’t judge or question something so different when they for one haven’t experienced them for themselves. It’s very frustrating to see people that are so close-minded and quick to judge whenever something different or out of the ordinary comes there way.
SIDE NOTE:don’t go running your mouth, bad mouthing and demean a person only because you think they aren’t on your “level” and since you’re so high on your high horse you think you can do that. Think again, cause one day; hopefully sooner than later you’ll have a thing or two coming your way which hopefully will be two fists in your face. LOL jk. But for real, people need to recognize.
So for those types of people I’d like you to open your eyes, and realize that everyone is different.And till you’ve experienced someone else’s shoes then you have no room to talk or judge.
There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as annoying as someone stepping on ur Js and as timeless as road head. It is the middle ground between acquaintance and lover, between hope and reality, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his stubbornness. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Friend Zone.
This is for the guys that can’t differentiate the two.
Unfortunately, I can’t give the ladies advice on how not to land in the friend zone because I’ve never been there. Don’t consider me cocky or even lucky for that either, ‘cuz I’ll take the “friend zone” over the “battle zones,” I’ve been in any day - trust. Besides, I don’t know too many females personally who’ve been in that position anyway. Not to say they don’t exist, but unless there’s excruciating circumstances, like my boy James once said: “Guys and girls are only friends because the girl keeps it that way.”
And honestly, male or a female, I don’t really think there’s any way to avoid the friend zone - because if the feelings aren’t mutual u can’t force them to be. U shouldn’t have to, nor should u want to. Feelings just won’t magically appear out of thin air if u hang around long enough either, and I believe that’s where the real issue lies. It’s good and detrimental to have hope but it’s even healthier to face reality. So while I can’t tell u how to avoid the friend zone, I can give u reality. So …
If u invite the chick out and she invites other people along or tells u to invite others, I’m sorry but more than likely u are in the friend zone. In the beginning, it’s always nice to go out in groups to avoid potential awkwardness but after a few of those, if I really like the dude I really could care less if Tammy and Tom like the Exploratorium too. I don’t want to kiss Tammy or Tom. I want to kiss u. And that is not happening if Tammy and Tom are sitting next to us inside the planetarium.
Now if u do get the chick out alone, that’s good, but still no cigar. It may just truly mean she enjoys ur company. I wouldn’t have guy friends if I didn’t enjoy their company. BUT that is the extent of it. So don’t get ur hopes up too high now. Especially if it’s only 7:23pm on a Friday night and the chick says she’s tired and has errands to finish. Errands? On a Friday night? U couldn’t pay me to run errands on a Friday night. I’ve called in sick to work before without being asked just to spend time with a dude I really liked.
If she tries to hook u up with one of her friends or asks about one of ur boys, u are in the friend zone! I’m trying to think if I’ve ever suggested either in the past as a “test” to see what the dude I liked would say, but that’s a negative. ‘Cuz y the fuck would I want that? LOL. I’m selfish. If u ask about one of my girls, I won’t cock block. But I would never just put it out there … unless of course I wasn’t feelin u lol.
If she talks to u about her guy problems, more than likely she doesn’t want u to come to the rescue … more than likely u are in the friend zone! That’s not to say showing her some compassion won’t make her realize that there are good guys out there, and u may be the good guy for her. BUT if I’m into you, I’m not gonna be talking to u about the last guy I was with or other guys I’m currently getting to know. I’m going to talk to u about YOU. “Ask u what ur interest are, who u be with. Things that make u smile, what numbers to dial.” ‘Cuz nothing screams “unstable with baggage,” like talking about ur ex to the new dude and I don’t want u to run away, I want u to make me believe me and my ex broke up so that we could meet.
If yall been hanging out for months, what more years, and still nothing has popped off, U ARE IN THE FRIEND ZONE! She is not being modest. Or taking things slow. She just isn’t attracted u in that way. And don’t fall for that “special friend,” title either, ‘cuz unless u tappin, there ain’t nothing “special,” about it. Girls want to kiss and touch and fuck just as much as men, so even if we may be too pussy to make the first move, we will def let u know we want u to make it instead.
And lastly, if she flat out says: I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS. Or any derivative of that, i.e. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Sounds obvious, but u would be surprised. So please, save urself some face and time and money and believe her when she says, “I only see u as a friend/You’re like my best friend!/Ew have sex with u that’s gross, ur like my brother!” None of that means, “I want to be your girlfriend.”
“Life is the process of finding love; every person will need to find four people in their life.
The first person is you; the second person is the one you love most, the third person is the one who love you most, and the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your life with.
First in life, you will meet with the one whom you love most, and learn how love feels. You will learn how love feels, so you can find the person who loves you the most. When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, you will then know what it is you need most. Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.
Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.
The one you love most doesn’t love you. The one who loves you most is never the one you love most. And the one you spend your life with is never the one you love most or the one who loves you most. She is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.
Which person are you in other people’s life?
No person will purposely have a change of heart. At that point in time, when she loves you, she really loves you. But when she doesn’t love you anymore,she really doesn’t love you anymore. When she loves you, she can’t pretend that he doesn’t. Same goes, when she loves you no longer, there’s no way she can pretend she loves you.
When a person doesn’t love you and wants to leave you, you must ask yourself if you still love her. If it so happens that you don’t love her anymore, do not keep her just to save your pride. If you still love her, you should wish her happiness and hope that she will be with the one she loves most, not stop her from it. If you stop her from finding true happiness with the one she loves, it shows you already don’t love her, And if you don’t love her, what rights do you have to blame her for a change of heart?
Love is not possessive. If you like the moon, you can’t just take it down and put it in your room. But the moonlight still shines upon you. In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let her become a permanent memory in you life. If you really love a person, you must love her for what she is. Love her for her good points, and the bad. You can’t wish for her to become what you like her to be just because you love her.
When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love her. You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you. Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criterias. In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test; if the relationship isn’t strong, then you can only admit defeat. Real love will never become hate.
When two people are in love, they love to ask each other to swear, to make promises. Why do they ask each other to swear and promise? Because they don’t trust each other, they don’t trust their lover. These swears and promises are useless. Till the sky falls, till the ocean dries, my love for you will never change. We all know that the sky will never fall and that the ocean will never dry. And if it does happen, will we even be alive?”
10. We know how to hit all the right zones. 9. Did anyone say spandex? 8. We always scream and yell. 7. We’re always on top of the balls. 6. We do it in 6 different positions.. repeatedly. 5. We don’t stop till we score. 4. We’re down low and ready. 3. Not only do we tap that.. we hit that.. HARD 2. We know when to ease up and when to push harder. 1. Being on our knees doesn’t bother us
And I have a volleyball game :) Wish me and karls luck !
Sitting here not having anything to do, but study. But i’m not gonna do that. The time I’ve spent not studying gave me some time to think about relationships. Why are they so difficult to understand? Why is one always trying harder than the other? Why aren’t we being honest with each other? How did we get where we are, when we were so good in the beginning?
I’ve been in 2 serious relationships in my lifetime. Pretty long term also. Two totally different guys, one older and one younger, and both have given me a new perspective on relationships, and what it brings to the table.
I’ve come to terms that I’m not perfect. That I’m not ready to be back in a relationship. That I need to better myself before letting anyone else in my life. I’ve come to terms that I change when I’m in a relationship. That I lose myself when I’m in a relationship. That I think too much. That I’m always putting up a front. That sometimes I’m crazy, and irrational. But without all these imperfections there would not be a balance. Instead I’d be perfect, and that’s the last thing I want.
I mean don’t get me wrong I do want to better myself for the next lucky man to sweep me off my feet, but he’s gotta know that he’s not only taking my inappropriate humor, my cute poodle birthmark, my teeny weeny ears, my contagious laugh, but he’s also getting my indecisiveness, my attitude, my emotional roller coaster ride, my messiness, and my laziness. Take the good with the bad.
What would life be if everyone and everything was perfect? Bland, boring, and life-less. I’m getting off topic.
But I’ve learned a lot being single for 8 months. I’ve learned to do what I want, and what I want only. Unfortunately, I do not see relationships as I did before. I no longer thing it’s magical, a fairy tale, a happy-ending. I remember I couldn’t wait to be in love when I was in middle school. I’d be listening to Kai all throughout the night, waiting to find my true love. But I’ve realized that as you get older that relationships become unclear and more complicated. SO why is that as we grow older we become wiser, but with relationships we act so childish as if we were in middle school all over again.
Maybe once I’m ready to be in a relationship I’ll be more mature, more confident, more stable with myself and the relationship as a whole. But for now I’m young and I don’t plan on being in anything serious.
I’ve lived, learned, and loved. No I have to just do me, cause it’s Me O’Clock ! Sorry if this was pretty scattered because I just wrote as I was thinking. If that makes sense ? It was more of a free write.